LPT Request: how to determine my subsequent path when every thing is falling aside round me?
F27. I lately was fired from my poisonous job, went by a break up, and my small enterprise went beneath. I’m depressing within the metropolis I’ve known as dwelling for practically a decade. I’ve outlined my whole being across the “success” in each a part of my life. However I’m bored with the rat race. I’m bored with evaluating myself to others’ success. And I don’t know the place to go from right here however I’m hanging on by a thread.
I’m leaving my metropolis to journey for a bit, so hoping that can spark one thing in me.
Phrases of knowledge, recommendation, or relatable tales/experiences are welcome.
Comments ( 8 )
I was in a similar situation 7 years ago. I made the jump and moved one state over just for a fresh start. Things didn’t go as planned but damn did I experience some shit.The good. The bad. It was all worth the roll of dice.
I did end up moving back to my home town as a stronger and more emotionally mature I human being.
I traveled a bunch in my 20s and it made me more prepared for my 30s. My advice is don’t make a plan, just go and figure it out along the way.
I find that focusing on smaller bites really helps me. We are all going through it. Forget the “others” Prioritize yourself and finding your path. I love that you’re traveling. It offers so many perspectives. You are gonna be fine. Just keep taking each step till you end up where you want to be. GL!!
Picture your life as perfect.
Make a list of what your dream life has that makes it so wonderful.
Figure out a plan to make it happen.
Follow the plan.
Follow the plan until you find something better along the way.
Good idea traveling. I’m in the same break up ship. They say searching for yourself. I have been fighting through the mental abuse so I would say hang on to the tiniest things that make you smile even for a second. Sending 🖤
Your 20s and early 30s is the time to try things and make mistakes that are surmountable. I know you probably feel like you need to be doing some certain things but if you’re in the situation you describe, take a chance. Travel, start in a new industry even if you need to take a step back to do so, go back to school to study something else, travel (yup, said it twice), get a job in a different city….
Try this: make a list of the 10 things you’re most proud of accomplishing, ever. Like that thing you won when you were 10 or the internship you got your junior year or when you won the city darts tournament five years ago or when they promoted you, whatever. These are things _you_ personally are most proud of, not what others might think is good. It’s harder to do than you think. Once you have that list, take a look and see if you can identify any patterns that might give you a clue what you might want to do next, or if there’s anything in particular that jumps out at you that might indicate what direction you may wish to go next.
At 35, I was divorced, unemployed, and an alcoholic. I was miserable. I was feeling really bad for myself, too. One day I realized that if I’m making myself sick with my pity party, others were getting sick of it, too.
I volunteered and went to a country, India, where I didn’t know the language or culture. I immersed myself in the experience, working at a school, more like a storage facility, for birth defected kids that had been abandoned by their families.
It cracked open something so deep and compassionate in me that I had never felt before. It broke my heart open.
I came back changed. It took a few more years to get sober. I moved, opened my own business, small, small business. I continue to volunteer. That was 20+ years ago.
My advice, do something for someone else.
One of the fastest ways to overcome discouragement is to serve someone else. Volunteer at your local non-profit, school, etc.
If you haven’t yet lined up new work, get something. Anything. Working does a lot for your mental well-being.
Personal story: I went to UPS and became a part time unloader while I tracked down my next gig. I had insurance, and the physical activity was good for me and also gave me time to think. I put in a few hours each week at the city homeless shelter.
My mood rapidly improved and before long I tracked down a good job.