LPT Request: Im I too outdated for this? I’ve waisted a few years of my life doing nothing.
First sorry if this a protracted submit I often dont submit about private life however I’ve to speak and this has been inside me for a very long time.
I’m 26 years outdated proper now about to show 27 in a few months. I used to be in school from 2016 and dropped out in 2018 when my life turned horrible, I had sever nervousness and despair, mother received recognized with stage 4 most cancers, grandparents who lived with us handed away and it was simply general horrible years for me. Then covid hit and I used to be having panic assaults and on medication each different day. The whole lot throughout these 5 years had been completely a nightmare for me.
I ought to have gotten my associates and transferred to a 2 yr college to get my bachelors and graduate in 2020… when i used to be 23. I simply received again to school and the nice factor i’ve completed all common ed and a few main items earlier than and now solely have main topics, majoring in engineering.
I’m anticipated to graduate and get my associates both fall of 2024 or spring of 2025 after which switch to a 2 yr for my bachelors which I’m anticipated to graduate on 2027… ailing be 30-31 years outdated by that point.
I see all my pals graduated and having jobs for the previous 2-3 years and that i simply waisted years 5 years of my life as a result of all I did was sit and cry about how my life was horrible and took no motion. I’m a lot stronger and decided now however I do know one factor and that’s time isn’t coming again. Its actually making me unhappy. It has been on my thoughts alot and haunting me that im nearly 27 now and waisted my life and years like this. I do know i fucked up huge time and dont know what to do or the best way to regain.
Comments ( 11 )
First of all learn the difference between waist and waste.
I went to college at 30. I studied alongside a 65 year old man.
You’re comparing yourself to people you know specifically because they’re in your age range. But so many older people change the direction of their lives, often including studying and getting qualifications. It’s not good to compare your progress to others, but trust me, you’ll be a long way from the oldest student around.
You went through a nightmare. That was the word you used. There are times when all a person can do is survive, get through, try and get to a place where they can start building up and doing more again, and it sounds like you were in that situation at that time.
There’s absolutely no shame in that and it’s not wasted time. It’s time when things were really, really bad for you, for a number of reasons, and you had to just… get through. Beating yourself up about it isn’t kind, or fair, and it isn’t going to make your present or your future better either- it’s going to make it *worse*. We can’t change the past. All we can do is look at today, and tomorrow.
I hope you can learn to be kind to past you, the you that was overwhelmed, at the same time as being kind to present you.
And by the way… in ten, fifteen, twenty years, the odds of you feeling like the last five had a major negative impact on the rest of your life are so low. 27 is still so young. Your adult life has barely begun. “Don’t worry” is such nonsense advice, so I’m not going to say it- but I will say, try to put some of those worries down if you can. They’re not helping you. And it’s not fair on you to be carrying all of it.
Don’t define your life based on your past.
I struggled to find my way – my mom also died young (cancer), I struggled with addiction (got clean) and codependency (got therapy), never held a “real” job.
Finally, I was in a relationship with my now current wife who one day told me to “get my shit together” then left me. I told myself that I was no longer gonna say “what if” and just act. Went to the registrar’s office that day and enrolled in school…I was 35.
I took my education seriously and grasped every opportunity along the way. Ended up as the valedictorian of my university, started a business (paid by grant money through the college), and mentored younger students who struggled like I did.
That was 15 years ago. Today, I’m an accomplished writer and business consultant with a great family (she came back after my first year of school and we have two kids), great job, and great future.
No one defines me by my troubled past, only to mention how far I’ve come. I’m almost 50 now, and I still struggle with some demons, but those are in the rearview as a reminder of the journey to this point in my life.
It’s a grind for sure and you can’t always see the end goal, but keep your focus on future you and you’ll make it!
I wish 60-something me could signal back to 20-something me, but one can’t. You can’t change those 5 years or get them back. I sincerely hope, however, that you will believe me when I tell you that you have just as good a chance to be happy as you did when you still had those years in hand.
My life got shit on cosmically 3 separate times. At 20, my first child died. In 2008, I was rifted out of a senior software engineering position with EDS, along with 26,000 others. Lost my retirement that had been growing nearly 20 years. That led to a nasty black flagging that took 3 entire years to make me realize that in my mid 50’s I could no longer get work in my chosen field of 31 years.
I’m in my 60’s now. I’ve been working with exotic birds for the last 7 years. I’m as contented and happy as I have ever been, even though most of the planned out parts of my life never went the way they were intended. My salary went from a good 6 figures annually to $15 an hour. That alone should be a life wrecker, and very well could have been had I let it.
What you need to know is this. You have NEVER known how much time you have left in life, and every moment you spend thinking or worrying about how you spent or wasted some of that time is *doubly* wasted. Instead, realize that no matter what went on before, as long as you don’t forget the lessons those sucky times HAD to have taught, don’t live present moments reliving past ones. Be present, NOW. Decide NOW what really makes you happy, as you may not be consciously aware of what those things are, if that makes sense. Learn what conditions, situations and people make you happy then live your present making those things happen, or at least make them more likely to happen. Identify activities, situations and people that impede them, and purge your life of those. You do not have to be cruel or cavalier about it, but do it. This leaves you free(er) to spend your limited life energy productively, in terms of generating a life of happiness.
One MAJOR warning. Be very careful of narcissism. I personally found this to be my biggest impediment to good relationships over the years. I’ve realized too, that you never stop being a narcissist once you’ve made it an unconscious habit. It’s very much like substance abuse; you are never cured of it, just “recovering”. It seems to be a side effect of being focused on self happiness, at least if you grew up with a parent or other authority figure who was a narcissist. In my opinion, the best counter to this is awareness. Consciously identify anything you are doing habitually that excludes consideration of the happiness of others, and see if there is an alternative that achieves your goal in a way that does not negatively impact others. Simply making this a habitual consideration will eventually make you a more likable, empathetic person.
I sincerely wish you the best. Bear in mind that regardless of the educational path you choose, career choices you make, and the like, you always have an unimaginably large array of possibilities open to you that you have NO IDEA even exist yet. And an enormous number of those are ones that could lead to you becoming a very contented, thoughtful, kind, and patient human being. There is no higher purpose for existence, in my now-humble opinion.
I went back to school last year at 50. Life is about the journey. I am sorry for your struggles. They are a part of being human in one way or another for all of us. Try as best as you can to focus on the good of it all in the now. Otherwise you are still creating your own suffering.
I’m about to be 31 and fucked up my chances to go to college and I have two kids that I can barely afford.
And then there was my dad who lost his house with a family of 6 and had to scramble around in shelters.
Stop tripping so hard. You’re a few years late on an optional course of life. You’re fine. If you aren’t, you should meet most of us.
I also dropped out of school when numerous areas of my life became difficult. I went back to school and earned my bachelor’s degree in my mid 30’s. If it is important to you it is worth doing.
Now I’m in my 40’s. If I hadn’t gone in my 30’s I would be spending my 40’s still agonizing if I was too old.
Never stop growing.
Don’t look at your friends, look at yourself! You’re exactly were you should be in life, no further behind or in front.
You’re still super young! In 5 years you could be a lawyer if you wanted to
There is no predefined lifepath as society wants you to believe. Take time to heal your wounds, take time to try to enjoy life again! Heck, even if you’re 40 you can still achieve whatever you want
You’re 27. You are still in your 20’s !
You have serious plans to graduate – it doesn’t sound like you are doing nothing.
Interns are usually in their early 20’s – I’ve seen interns in their 40s and 50’s who decided to do a career change.
5 years is a droplet of time. When you’re in your 40s or 60s or 80s you’ll look back and barely be able to distinguish between age 22 vs 27.
Imagine you’re starting fresh now, no missed time or opportunity. Just do starting now what you wish you’d done 5 years ago. Imagine your 80 year old self looking back and having the opportunity to be 27 again and all the opportunity they’d wish they could have