Cannot Learn Harry Potter Once more
I’m positive some folks can commiserate or join with me right here.
I started studying Harry Potter after the primary film got here out however earlier than I noticed it. I had all the time been an avid and voracious reader as a baby however this was a sequence that captured my creativeness a lot that it really introduced my mother to tears.
She received me all of the books even books six and 7 on launch which wasn’t simple as a result of we did not have some huge cash on the time however she knew it was essential to me.
I have never been in a position to learn and luxuriate in these books since she handed away as a result of the recollections are so robust and despite the fact that she by no means learn them my mother would ask me concerning the characters, the world, what was the distinction between the books and the films and we would talk about the characters she appreciated within the motion pictures.
She was an enormous reader as properly however did not wish to learn the books.
I suppose I’m questioning is how have you ever gone again to a sequence with a lot actual life recollections connected to them?
Comments ( 22 )
I think it’s pretty special that you have such strongly linked memories to a series like that. It may be too painful now. But it may not be in the future. Grief changes as time passes, and Someday you may want to return to it and the feelings of love and safety you shared with your mother. It may become a way to feel close to her again.
Then again, Maybe it won’t. There’s no reason to put pressure on yourself to go to an emotional place your not ready for. Acknowledging this reaction can be enough for now. Let yourself be where you are.
So sorry for your loss. No one loves us like our moms, and it sounds like yours loved you a whole lot.
Wishing you light and healing ❤️
Hi! So sorry to hear about your loss, I can completely empathize with your hardships related to these books!
For me, ⚯͛ is a comfort series. It’s what I read when I feel lost or unsure as an adult and I just want that hug of childhood back. Although hard to read, it may be comforting to be immersed in a storyline that keeps your memories with her real and alive. Even if you do cry while reading. It may also be a time and place where you feel you can cry and process the emotions associated with losing her, while also reminding you of the joy she felt around the series.
Your mom sounds like she was a special person. She recognized the power of books to transport us to other places, and went out of her way to get you those books even though it was a hardship for her. I would say that is the key: remember that when you look at those books, and all the happy memories you shared with your mom. One day, when the time is right, you’ll read them again. I’m sorry for your loss.
Songs can be truly special because they take you back to a time in your life when you enjoyed the song. You remember who you were with, what you were doing, and the emotions that are associated with them.
I can’t say that I have experienced this with books, but it sounds like that is what you are experienceing; and I think it’s great.
I hope that some day you can read the series again. Right now everything is too painful but maybe some day when you’re missing her and wanting to feel close to her you’ll pick up book one and start reading about Privet Drive.
If you don’t think you can bear to look at the books again maybe donating them to a library or giving them away to a child who can’t afford to buy their own set may be the way to go.
I work at a public library and there are so many books with special plates that say they were donated in memory of someone special. I ended up doing that with some children’s books about grandparents that I purchased in my grandma’s name. Shortly before mother’s day one of the books was returned (The Remember Balloons). It took everything I had not to burst into tears when I saw it. It’s okay whatever you decide.
I know what you’re going through. I lost my Mom a few years ago. While I was reading Half-Blood Prince, I had to stop reading when Dumbledore died because it made me think of my Grandmother. Took me almost a week to pick up the book and finish it.
If the last film, the first time I watched it after my Mom passed away, I broke down completely when Harry’s came to him and give him a chance to win against Voldemort.
The pain and loss is very real and will never go away. But it is true that you grow around your grief, like vines on a building. Don’t forget to feel, even if it hurts like hell. Cherish the memory of her and your bond. It will get easier.
Your mom sounds like a wonderful woman. She knew what was important to you and that reading is always a good thing.
My son had trough learning how to read. Once he got past that he loved to go to book stores. It was never a cheap shopping trip. But I was so happy to know that he was reading it was okay. I would adjust the budget.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Grieving takes time, and cycles through different stages. While you are not able to read the books at the moment, one day they might become a wonderful way to remember your mom. That’s not to say it will completely stop hurting, but something can be hurting and healing at the same time.
See how you feel in a year, or two years, or ten years, the books will still be there waiting for you.
Do it for your mother. This time switch your focus from your pain and grief to remember the mother you love and who loved you. Cherish the smiles, laughter and shared pleasure from these novels. Let your sadness lie in an undisturbed pool somewhere deep within and cherish the splendid person your mother was. And when the sadness rises unbidden and unbearable let your grief go flood the world with your tears and when the crying is done pick up the book and return to the memory of your mother’s smile.
Wishing you gradual healing and peace OP. Thank you for sharing. The vacuum that she left behind will always be there but maybe one day those books will make you want to experience the magic again. But even if you cannot bring yourself to read them again, if the pain is too much, you will always have the memories of reading HP and sharing the experience with your mother. Take care.
To answer your question, yes sometimes revisiting certain books is too hard because of the memories associated with them. You are not alone in feeling like this.
Can relate. My dad, who passed away ten years ago, absolutely loved HP, and every time I pick one of the books up, I get pangs of loss and nostalgia, just remembering him being absolutely engrossed in it.
I am so sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel. My dad died a few years ago. It is absolutely gut-wrenching. But things will change over time. You’ll feel better again, one day, and maybe the joy you once got from Harry Potter will return.
I grew up being taught to read with Harry Potter, as in, my dad would sit illiterate young me and my sister next to him and read aloud while pointing with his fingers and asking us to try and read. It was literally what made me literate.
I have really strong memories with Harry Potter. I can’t really read it anymore because it feels *so* incredibly childish, I mean it’s not exactly but really it was the first thing I ever read with my father so I can’t get over it.
I hope you’ll be able to enjoy the books again and have fond memories throughout reading it. If I ever have kids I intend to read Harry Potter to them to teach them to read just like dad taught me.
I can perfectly realte to this sort of situation.
One of my closest friends would watch Formula 1 with me. It’s just something we enjoyed doing together. Then he died suddenly after finding out he had cancer within a couple of months.
Since then I’ve been unable to watch Formula 1 again. This was about 5 years or so ago, and I’ve watched F1 since the 1970s.
So I perfectly understand the association. How to fix it? I don’t know. Maybe by coming at it from another angle? Because I can watch other form of motor racing, so I’m trying to watch as many other things as I can and hope I can gradually turn my mind back to F1.
So maybe reading other SIMILAR veined books might help?
It’s ok to cry. Go and read them and use them to ponder your pain. We all carry these things with us. My grandfather loved Pavarotti, and I have Nessun Dorma on my Spotify playlist. Whenever that song comes on it makes me think of him. Sometimes that means I’ll cry. Other times I’ll laugh. That’s a small tribute to him, in my mind.
The association is perfectly normal. But you have to find ways to move on. To be fair I think moms always want their children to keep on remembering them without it meaning they won’t carry on doing what makes them happy.
It’s probably going to hurt at first but then you’ll find yourself dealing with it and healing. And I think that’s when you’ll be able to cherish it the most. Be happy that your mom did her best to overcome and provide you with those books and make the most out of those gifts – the books and her love.
Alas, that is exactly one of the saga’s cruxes – a mother’s love will take you farther than any piece of magic.
Sorry to hear about your mother. I’ve known people who have moved past their grief and they now look back at the loved ones they’ve lost with fondness. I’d say keep those books with keepsakes from your mom, keep them away from your sight until grief has passed. Hopefully when you’re ready to think about her again, you can revisit these books and think of the fond memories you have of her in relation to these books.
In my experience – if you want to come back to them, make them a part of your process! Don’t try to force the old emotions they gave you, and give yourself time, space, privacy, and/or opportunity to feel the grief it causes you. Sit with them and think of her. Read while thinking about it from the mindset of her favorite characters. Or skip straight to the scene on the beach in the last book – that one gets me every time if I need catharsis. They will always make you think of your mother, but my hope for you is that won’t always feel like a bad thing.
The feeling is understandable.
I hope you are able to enjoy the things that you enjoyed with your mother one day and even if you aren’t able to do everything the way you did before, always remember that’s okay too.
Take care of yourself, your mother must’ve been a lovely person and I hope you understand that your mother wouldn’t want you to give up the joys of life for feeling sad over her passing, no one who loves you would ever wish for you to suffer.
Go read the shit out of those books. Feeling grief is how you know happiness. Your mom sounds amazing. I’ve literally literally have never read a sentence of HP. I think I might now.