LPT Request : How do I be extra confrontational & be steadfast on my argument/recommendation?
This occurs many of the instances throughout argument or dialogue.. A lot of the instances I do not take part. However when requested about my views/enter, individuals/associates are likely to reject my enter. If I insist, it extra or so turns into a shouting match.. So I again down & agree with no matter they’re saying to keep away from pointless drama.. & I am like what an AH I’m ??
I need to enhance myself & be extra rational..
Please assist me to face on my factors … If doable please counsel one thing I can learn/watch..
Thanks for time for studying this…
Comments ( 8 )
Take some “rhetoric” classes. YouTube em as well.
>How do I be more confrontational & be steadfast on my argument/advice
Why do you want that?
I learned a lot from Nonviolent Communication – A Language Of Life – Rosenberg
You should learn how to create rational and logical arguments. You should be able to find logic courses on YouTube by actual professors. Making sound arguments is the key to winning debates and sounding more persuasive. Not sure why you’d want to be more confrontational. Hopefully it’s just poor word choice.
You should also be willing to abandon irrational and poor arguments even if you personally want to believe them. Despite what people thing being “steadfast’ and unwilling to change your position no matter what is less convincing that being willing to accept a logical failure.
If you want to improve yourself & be more rational you shouldn’t be trying to “be more confrontational and steadfast on your argument”.
The bedrock to any good argument is having sound premises that necessarily lead to a sound conclusion. Being able to recognize the validity (or otherwise) of an argument’s premise, in both YOURS and and the counter argument is a strong sign of an intelligent person. Smart people recognize when *they* are wrong ***and will change their minds***, or when they are being fed BS. Be like them.
If you are getting into frequent arguments where everyone involved disagrees with you, chances are at least one, and consequently the rest, of them see the flaws in your argument, and therefore *(flawed premise: group think clouds judgement, and premise doesn’t ‘necessitate’ the conclusion which is consequently…)*
Your arguments are certainly bad (… a flawed conclusion).
There are philosophy courses in College that teach Logic and argumentation, and rhetoric. I highly recommend them. Until then just listen to what people say and look for the premise(s)>conclusion structure and evaluate that. Also, say “I don’t want to get involved in this discussion” instead of becoming the pariah.
Basic evaluation: what are all the premises (often they are hidden/implied/unspoken)? What are the flaws, if any, for each individual premise? How can the premise be improved to fix these flaws? Do the now valid premises necessarily lead to the final argument’s conclusion? If not how can it be reworded to do so? This is the basic formula for discovering Truth.
Rhetoric OTOH is simply being persuasive via any means available, to convince others of your opinion whether true or not and IMO is a necessary evil particularly in this day and age.
This is really hard to do! I would see if you can find ways to practice it, like talking about magic the gathering or marvel movies or sports teams, kardashians/jenners, some kind of low stakes thing. Maybe find a trusted friend who knows this is practice and you guys can do some planned debates.
For me I really try to hinge on “what is necessarily true.” When the temperature rises, I always try to relate to that. Whether the room agrees with you or doesn’t, see if you can hold to some very core truths. There will be times that nobody agrees with you and it may even take years before they see your side. So you really have to know yourself. What is true, and what is true to you? Very important questions.
Also before things get too hot, you can ask questions. “I hear you saying that, but I literally just read X from a primary source. Is there something I’m not understanding here?”
You also may have people who steamroll you and “win” arguments. Even if everything you say is completely correct and well said, people will think they’ve won when they haven’t. That’s on them and their delusions, not on you to worry about that.
What sort of discussions/arguments are happening – are they more around politics? Are they happening between two people who have their axes to grind against each other?
In a normal friends group, this feeling almost never comes. Best is to stay away from this.
The word you’re looking for is assertive
I have long been in your shoes and am making slow progress. This is what I’m learning:
Enter into every conversation, argument, and debate perfectly willing to change your mind if the data and arguments put forward by your conversation partner warrant it. In other words, always keep an open mind.
Listen! You can’t be listening if you’re thinking about your next point, how to answer their current point.
Loop. Confirm what your conversation partner is saying by rephrasing it in as accurate and charitable a manner as you are able. Any hint of sarcasm, hyperbole, or other distortions at this point can immediately derail a pleasant exchange of ideas.
Ask questions. Genuine ones driven by curiosity and not snarky leading ones designed to show how stupid your conversation partner is. If you can tell that the conversation is headed in the wrong direction emotionally then switching to only questions and listening will show your conversation partner that you are genuinely interested in what they have to say rather than just owning them and “winning” the debate.
And always remember the sage advice: “A man convinced against his will / Is of the same opinion still.”
Books that I have found helpful in my search for self-improvement:
Love your Enemies — Arthur C. Brooks
I Never Thought of It that Way — Mónica Guzmán
High Conflict — Amanda Ripley
Never Split the Difference — Chris Voss
Doesn’t Hurt to Ask — Trey Gowdy
The Righteous Mind — Jonathan Haidt